People Don’t Buy Products, They Buy People – The Quest for Personal Discovery
Emotional Intelligence is not the same as scoring high on an EQ test.
For me, Emotional Intelligence is the skill of seeing what’s hidden — the emotional weight a situation carries. People in sales will tell you straight: people don’t buy a product, they buy a person. I’ve learned that most people I meet, including myself, are going through something. If you miss that emotional reality, your results will always take a knock.
Borrow from sales for a moment. “People buy a person.” Think of The Pursuit of Happyness. Christopher Gardner was homeless, broke, sleeping in train station toilets. But his Emotional Intelligence was sharp. He could read a room. He targeted clients who put their own problems below their feet and showed up fully for them, even while his life was falling apart. His breakthrough came from being in the right place at the right time, yes. But more than that, it came from understanding the emotions of the people he was meeting.
I learned this the hard way. I missed my grandmother’s funeral because I had a commercial gig at the State Theatre. I knew my family would struggle to understand why the money mattered so much right then. When it rains, it pours — right before the performance, during run-throughs, someone found my torn shoes in the changing room and threw them away, thinking they were helping. I left the theatre barefoot that night. That moment affirmed it for me: it was time for change.
After the show we got paid, and for the first time I could afford to buy myself a new pair of sneakers. Simple, but it felt like a breakthrough.
What I’m trying to paint here is this: Emotional Intelligence allows you to think above the situation. While I was barefoot and grieving, I asked myself, “If I could ask my grandmother, what would she say?” My truth is, she would have said: “Go to the performance. It’s time it pays off.”
Seeking to understand puts you ahead. You stop reacting only to what’s visible. You start seeing the fear, the pride, the desperation, the hope attached to each person. And when you see that, you respond differently. You lead differently. You sell differently. You love differently.
Because at the end of the day, people don’t remember what you sold them. They remember how you made them feel.
Sicelo Ngubane is a social entrepreneur, an inspirational speaker and a youth activist with interests in leadership and personal development. Has been with Love Life, Sibikwa Arts Centre and the South African Association of Youth Clubs
